Twas the Night Before Coronation
by IceSpent
Summary: As the soon-to-be queen sits in her icy room, she thinks about her imminent coronation, the past, and Anna. Even though she knows she'll never send it, Elsa addresses a letter to her much-loved sister. Not Elsanna in any way, shape or form.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Frozen and I never will. All I own is my phone and my screwy brain. Enjoy the story!**

Soft-hued streaks become visible in the sky as the daylight wanes. My stomach twists as I fully realise just how close tomorrow is.  
Tomorrow. I knead my gloved hands together, agitated, and smudges of frost appear on the walls, born of my helpless distress.  
"Stop." I whisper desperately, willing myself to keep a vague trace of control. Whatever happens tomorrow, I must never, not under any circumstances, reveal my curse to anybody. Least of all my sister.  
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. My sister, though I've barely seen her in thirteen long lonely years, is all I have left. The only person for whom I would give my life, without hesitation. It was for Anna's protection that I have hid myself away and endeavoured in vain to control my...*ability* for so long. Although Anna can't remember, I *can* remember, clear as day. The incident has permanently etched itself deep into my memory. Despite the fact that it was a complete accident, I still harmed Anna with my abnormality when we were young, young and still inseparable. Anna recovered ("Thank God." I mumble unconsciously.) but I will never forgive myself. If I hurt her again, however unintentionally, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.  
Tomorrow, however...I can see her again, the sister I have always held so dear, who I still miss deeply. An involuntary smile begins to emerge on my face, but a horrifying thought cuts it short. What if Anna *hates* me for deserting her when she needed me most? I wouldn't blame her; I hate myself. I've striven to shield Anna, but at the price of both of our happiness. I feel my mouth trembling as a tear stabs at my eye-and some more ice crawls along the walls of the room I know too well. I take several deep, shaky breaths, but it's futile, and resentment pours out of me. "I despise you! Get out of me!" I shout in despair and frustration. "I'm so, so sick of having this-this defect! Just stop it!" My shaking legs buckle and I sink to the floor. "Stop." I whisper again, resting my head on my upturned knees. A bitter sense of shame, self-loathing and fear clutches my insides.  
"I'm not ready." I mutter softly, speaking somewhat faster than usual. "I can't be the queen. I'll disappoint everybody. I can't do this." A tear slips down my cheek, and once I start, I can't stop. Leaning against the cold wall, I weep silently for quite some time, disgusted with my curse, with myself.  
*You* can *do it. I have every confidence in you.* Absolutely shocked, I hastily raise my head. "Papa?" I breathe, almost certain that I heard his deep whisper. After a second or two, I just shake my head hopelessly. Mama and Papa, who had tried so hard to support and console me, have been dead for three years. Another tear, this one of sadness.  
"I can do this. I *have* to do this." I say in hushed tones, trying to convince myself. "If for nothing else, then for Mama and Papa...and Anna."  
Anna. I bite my lip hard, wishing there was some way I could express just how much she matters to me.  
Despondency creeping over me again, I cast my eye over the room, and pause on a small, very precious pile of letters. Anna, the sweet thing, slipped notes under the closed door when they were little, often beseeching me to go out and play. The topmost and most recent one, however, was written the day after Mama and Papa's funeral...which I didn't even have the courage to attend. Another thing I will never forgive myself for.  
The ink on that letter had run where both mine and Anna's tears had fallen on it, but it's still legible.

Dear Elsa, I just don't know what to do or who to turn to anymore. I need you more than ever, so please come out. Even if it's just once, for only ten minutes. I'm begging you.  
The castle seems much more huge and bare without Mama and Papa. I just feel so lonely and hopeless, and I think you do too. I can't do this by myself, Elsa, I never could. Please, please don't hide away this time. I need somebody to help ease the grief, but nobody can comfort me like you would. Elsa,* why?* Is this my fault? Am I such an idiotic and terrible person that I can just watch as my parents are taken and my sister shuts me out? I need to know. Tell me, please.  
I'm sorry if I irritate you with all the knocking. I just wanted to let you know, I still miss you, and I need you to help me through this. There are so many days ahead of us. Tell me, Elsa, where do we go from here? With thirteen years' worth of hugs from Anna P.S. I still want to build a snowman.

When I first read the letter, I clutched it to my chest, sobbing uncontrollably. My loneliness and sorrow was too much to bear, and I cried for hours, longing to be able to tell my sister how we would get through it, wishing more than anything that I could unlock my door and hug Anna and cry until the emotional agony went away. As I sobbed, ice encrusted the floor, snow drifted down from the ceiling, an arctic gale blew through the room-but I barely even noticed. I was past caring.  
I remember this all too vividly, and with a wrench of heartache. It isn't fair. It was never fair. All I have of my treasured sister are memories, letters and a constant feeling of regret...  
Letters. Suddenly it comes to me. I can write Anna a letter. Though I probably won't ever be able (or, indeed, brave enough) to send it, writing it might dull the gnawing guilt and misery in my heart.  
I swiftly arise from the floor. My dress is wet from the partially melted ice, but I can't say I care at the moment. After ensuring my traitorous hands are well covered by the gloves, I sat at my desk and slowly raise my quill. What to say to a sister I haven't spoken to for most of my life?  
*Speak from the heart, Elsa.*  
And gradually, cautiously, I begin to write.

 **Not too happy with the end lines, but I hope you liked it. Please review! Next chapter along very soon. Hugs!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alrighty, here's my next chapter! Don't own Frozen. Never will.**

Dear, dear, courageous, wonderful Anna,  
Maybe someday I'll be able to show you this letter, but for now, I'm writing it more for me than for you.  
Thirteen years are a long, long time, and I can only thank you for still having a shred of faith in me. I won't be offended if you hate me for deserting you. Do you? I'm so sorry, Anna. I can never apologise enough. All I can say is that I never, ever wanted to abandon or hurt you.  
Please believe me when I say that you're better off without me. I know I'm a failure of a sister, but all of this is to protect you. You need to know, though, that I really did want nothing more than to attend Mama and Papa's funeral, remember them with you, comfort you-but I just couldn't. I can't forgive myself for it, and I never will.  
You must never blame yourself for any of this. You did absolutely nothing wrong. The fault is all mine, and you must know that.  
I missed you. I _do_ miss you. Whenever you talked to me through the door, I always listened. I wish you knew how much I care about you. How much I longed to open the door to you. I should tell you myself, but I never had your bravery.  
It hurts to know that I missed out on everything-all the laughter, all the tears, all the chocolate-but it must hurt you so much more, because you don't even know why it has to be this way. Perhaps you'll understand someday. Perhaps.  
Oh, Anna. I hate myself for everything, but especially for letting you believe that this is your fault. It tears at me to think that you believe I'm angry at you or hate you for some reason. Yet I can barely remember the last time I said "I love you", to you or to anyone. Anna, I never stopped loving you from the moment I first saw you. Even now, after a thirteen year separation, I still love you more than anything in this world, and I hope some part of you knows that even though I haven't told you for so long. You are the only bright thing in my life, and I don't know what I would have done without your knocking and talking. There's no better sister anywhere than mine. You mean the world. Please understand that.  
Anna, I'm terrified for tomorrow. I just want to make Mama and Papa proud, but what if I let them and the kingdom down just like I let you down? I don't think I could take it. But I will see you, after such a painfully long time, and that gives me hope.  
I'm truly looking forward to being with you again, my dear sister, and I know how joyful you are that you will at last have the fun and companionship you want and deserve. Sleep well, best buddy-because you are still my best friend. You always have been and always will be.  
There's one more thing I want you to know. I always wanted to build a snowman.  
Please forgive me. I'm sorry.  
Love always,  
Elsa

 **Just one more short chapter after this. So how did I do? Please review! I'm an aspiring writer and reviews fuel my art. See you very soon, my lovely readers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Third and final chapter.**

 **Gold17: Thanks very much! Yeah, I know about the text spacing thing, but I never realise until it's too late. I'll try to get it right in this chapter.**

 **Puppyfriend: I _did_ continue, but this is the last chapter :( Thanks for your review, though! Appreciate it.**

 **One more thing, if anyone's here to hate on my fic, there's the door. *points to imaginary door* Use it.**

 **OK, on with the chapter!**

I stare down at my words. They look utterly inadequate to make up for thirteen years, but they're all I can manage, and I mean every single one of them.

I don't even realise I'm crying until a tear drops onto the paper in front of me. "Contain yourself. Haven't you spent most of your life losing people and missing them? You should be used to it by now." I mutter bitterly. I take a deep breath, wipe my wet eyes, and lift my head to glance towards the door.

I can hear agitated pacing. I'm not the only one still awake.

I curl my hands into fists to resist the temptation, and instead whisper softly, "Goodnight, Anna."

She must hear me, because her voice, so quiet, so tentative, murmurs, "Goodnight, Elsa."

A rush of affection engulfs my heart, and with it comes determination. One day-not now, but one day-my sister and I will be together again. One day, I'll give her back the years that we should have had, but were taken from us.

Folding my hands, feeling the thin but comforting barrier of my gloves, I arise and make my way towards the window, now displaying a deep blue evening sky.

I make another heartfelt resolution. Tomorrow I will be crowned as Arendelle's new queen, and I _will_ be a good ruler and for once in my life, I _will_ make my parents proud.

"Goodnight, Mama, Papa."

 **And...done! Thank you ever so much for reading!**

 **Until next time. xxx**


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